by Mark Probert

I have heard many people say, “I wish I’d never been born.” Fact is they are not born yet. They are not born yet or they would never have uttered those words. A form, a body was ejected into the dream, that is so, and they have been taught that all bodies they see are real, that the person is born. No! Birth comes not until we attain what is called the awakening, or the Christ Consciousness. The Christ Mind means clarity of consciousness; crystal clear understanding. It does not mean a man named Jesus. When one called Jesus attained what is called the Christness, he ceased to be Jesus. That is why he found it easy to give up his body, for he knew it was not he. That is one side of the Christian teachings.

Each one of us is going to have to find our way back home; learn the trick of it, the sleight-of-hand we have been playing with ourselves. Suffering the cross, bearing the cross, is bearing the physical body. The body is the cross, and all the suffering of the body is the pains on the cross. Who is on the cross? I am! The dreamer who does not know he is dreaming. In order to help him to become aware that he is but dreaming, he has to suffer the cross.

But now I want to go back home, I want to get back into my Christness, so I come back into the physical world. I go away–I come back–I go away–I come back–. In your world there is a children’s song that goes: In and out the window–In and out the window. That is exactly what we are doing, and it is always through the same window. Gets very monotonous after a time. Out and back–out and back. You know, the cross after a time, becomes so–we become so acutely aware of the pains of it that the pains alone say to us, “When are you going to stop going in and out the window? You must like me very much to go on this way. Don’t you want to take the cross off? Don’t you want to be free?”

Freedom to where? That is the next question, the next step on the path. I hear all this talk about freedom of the soul, the spirit, the mind, but I find none. This is because we do not know to what we should move to get away from the pain. We don’t know what freedom is.

But as we go and suffer and suffer, soon we realize that there must be a way—must be! And we start seeking then, a little here, a little there, listening here, listening there, study this book or this writing. Now, nobody is going to awaken us, for nobody can tell when we are ready to awaken, nor can you tell yourself. Not even the individual knows this.

But there comes a time when he begins to see a little more Light, and the Light begins to expand. As this takes place a change comes over him, a very peculiar change to him–what is wrong? What is this new sensation? It is good so I won’t tamper with it.

But there are others watching him, too. Others that may not be asleep but so much awake that they see his Light. And they say to one another, “Look, his Light has come on.” They take a big sigh and say, “Now we do not have to watch him so closely as he now has Light to see where he is going.” And so they begin to–these beings–perhaps they are in the physical world, perhaps out of it-they begin to be acutely aware of him. Their awareness is to be of service to him, to help him gain even a little more Light. In the world of wisdom where the importance of life is Light gaining, nobody cares about electricity–nobody! For Light is everywhere, abundantly; there is no bill for it.

Now back to the White Brotherhood. One that is already a member cannot join or become a member again. What we do is become aware that we are a member. Before we were an unconscious member. There are more mystical orders on your earth with unconscious members. Including the leaders—the leaders are themselves unconscious. That’s why they do not notice the zombie-like state of the members.

The Great White Lodge and the White Brotherhood are, in essence of meaning, one and the same. Most of us are in different degrees of sleep, or if you like different degrees of awakening. Different degrees of sleep is a negative statement. We don’t like it. I’m in a different degree of awakening, I’m not asleep. It hurts my ego to be told I’m asleep. But if I say I’m in a different degree of awakening, and don’t say what degree, I feel so happy.

There are many kinds of initiation. First initiation into the White Brotherhood, and then initiation into the different lodges of the White Brotherhood. According to your state of wakeful awareness, the mystical order you are in, and how you have advanced in it, determines the lodge of your initiation. The lodge! This means where you are in consciousness. Now you are going to have an initiation that is going to put you in one of these lodges.

The man that was miscalled Jesus was a great Avatar, a great teacher that had been back and forth on the earth many times. In the particular time it was said he came according to the Christian Bible, or the story of his arrival in so-called chronological time, is not the time at all. The man was not named Jesus but Hesus who took his initiation one hundred years before any word or thought concerning anyone called Jesus. Some of his initiation was taken in England, Ireland, Scotland, where he was given part of his initiation by those called the Great Order of the Druids.

The Druids were people who gave wisdom to the Celtic people. These people were wisdom givers. When the prevalent religion of the time, the priestly system, sought to get into these countries, they created a big fight. One called St. Patrick, it is said whistled the snakes out of these countries, particularly Ireland. The snakes he whistled out were the snakes of wisdom. “Be as wise as the serpent and as harmless as the dove.” That’s what was driven out of Ireland, England, Scotland, and in its place came darkness and the being with the forked tongue. The day of St. Patrick is a day of infamy.

Then this man, Hesus, came and took his initiation in the Hellenic mystery schools of Greece. To be sure his initiation was on a cross, but he was not murdered, for there is no advantage in murder. The cross he was put upon was not shaped like a “T”, for that is the cross of the pagan sex worship. Now please understand me: I do not decry the pagan or the practice of sex worship, because the sex worship, when it was done, was a worship of the cosmic forces of life. Not the sex of the generative centers—that is done today—you do that today. That is why sex has become so degenerate and has created a degenerate kind of mind among the people. But the worship was of a cosmic creative force. This cosmic creative force lies in the sun. The sun is the giver of Light, for Light is what it is—Light meaning intelligence, it dispels darkness, clarifies everything.

The cross was an “X” cross like the Roman numeral ten. The initiate was tied upon it in a horizontal position and he went into a deep cataleptic state while the high potentates that were guiding him through the initiation went around the cross chanting. They wore great symbols on their heads of the heads of the animals—the bull, the ram, the lion, the ox, the goat, the fish. All these are representations of sex and fertility, the inner forces of life. This being on the cross projected his consciousness into the All Conscious, which you walk around in and call “space.” Here he met with great inner teachers who put him through the final initiation in that light, that dimension, that frequency, in that state of consciousness, or however you care to look at it. When he completed his initiation he needed to show those who had guided him through on the earth plane, in the three dimensional world, he needed proof to show that he had been in this condition and completed the initiation at the hands of these higher beings. So they put secret markings upon what is called his astral body, his higher mental body, or whatever you like to call it. Markings on the palms of the hands—secret centers—and down the nine secret centers—chakras. Markings on the hands, the feet, the side, the forehead. These are all mystical symbols.

They have nothing to do with a man being murdered and bleeding to death on a cross in the vain hope that he was going to save the human race. No man with this advanced understanding would have committed himself to such a vanity. Less would he have done it to teach for the sympathy, the low emotional sympathy of the blind, the sleepers, the zombies.

He died for me! Poor Jesus!

Then they turn around, wipe their eyes, and go on doing the same thing, fighting and killing as they did before.

Poor Jesus!

Yes indeed, if it were true I would say POOR, POOR JESUS, and I would weep throughout all eternity for his useless sacrifice.

Look at your world today. What is it? Wherein is there proof that he’d save it? It is said that god made man and then gave him something extra called a will. This made him free to do as he felt like doing. And then the Christian god through the priestly mouth tells you that he says, “Those that hate me I will revenge myself upon them.” What a horror! What kind of a god is this? And yet it is clearly stated in your Christian Bible for all to read. “He that is not for me is against me.” How can one be against his own source of life? “You are filthy rags in his sight.” Do you like that? You see, you must see the childishness, the insanity of it. You must see that you are held spellbound by the hypnotic teachings you have been given in your daily life.

How did man create the world? Certainly not ego-body man. Not that which you call “I” and refer to the physical ego self. But the awakened “I”, the Buddha self, the Christ self—it created this dimension, this frequency, this vibration, this dream.

The created world! What is a piece of matter? The scientist takes it and breaks it down, looks into it, pulls it apart–what happened to it? I will see. I will put it all back together again and then I will shoot at it with proton bullets. If I do this right, I will get all the light force out of it. I will turn it inside out, and if nothing else it will scare the hell out of me. Which it has done. It has scared the hell out of man.

The atom, the little genie in the magic lamp. Man got to rubbing the lamp so hard he rubbed right through it and out came the genie. “What do you want? What is the matter with you? I have been very happy where I am up to now, and you come poking your fingers right in.” What are you doing down in there? “So I come out. Here I am, oh, great master.” The genie knew that man was not a great master but was playing upon his credulity and his vanity. “Oh, great master what can I do to serve you? Because if I don’t serve you I will become your master, and-uh! uh!” So man said, “I have a great deal of hate inside for my fellow man. You can go kill great numbers of them. Before I was very foolish, I had only a little stick to make boom-boom with. Now, you can boom–in one boom–oh, what you can do!”

The genie said, “Hmmmm, I can see that the hate inside of you is just as great as the force within me. That’s what will make me do a big boom. Your hate has turned this force within me to ten times its power. Yes, I will boom for you. I will boom for you until you are so sick that you will pray that I stop booming.”

And that is what happened. The force erupted from the atom; the unseen world became seen in a most horrifying manner. Oh, nobody believes in the unseen. That which I cannot see simply does not exist. (That is what spooks say about people; I saw a people the other day and it frightened me no end).

I dig the little genie out of his home without exploding him. I dig him quietly through my mind to see what the atom is. Ah, I find the answer. The genie came out only because I went in. I went in and joined him and I discovered HE was ME—even if that is poor grammar. I am IT! I am the substance out of which creation is made besides the Creator. Yes, all of it is I. Now when I come to this realization, I have come to the point where I do not want to rush into the world and start changing it. It suits me. Where it didn’t before–when I was sleeping I thought there was something to be done. Somebody does something I don’t like and I say, “Oh, that man is sick, he doesn’t live right. I’m going to show him how to live.” So I show him and he dies. If I had kept my hands off him he probably would have lived a few days more.

When we infringe our way on another, we take away that one’s creation of the world, his creation of existence. That is why I say don’t go around saying somebody called Yada said what you are hearing here. You find out first whether it is right. You study it from all angles to see if I am telling fibs. How do you know? Everybody has something up his sleeve. How do you know I haven’t got a sleeve.

This does not mean not to trust one who is trying to be helpful to you. I do not tell you I am a teacher because I cannot teach you anything. If you do not already know it, how can I teach it to you? I can awaken you by certain sounds or words to the fact that you know these things already. Now, if that is teaching, then I am a teacher.

For I am the Eternal One. I am the Prince of Peace.

Sometimes life seems like a great, raging tide and we struggle to keep our heads above the flood until we can drift into peaceful waters.

I leave you in Love and Light.

(Yada di Shi-ite [through Mark Probert])

Excerpt from Yada Speaks, Selected Communications

See Part I here.